‘It’s a calling’: Nashville couple fosters children with complex medical issues
From the beginning of their relationship, Caleb and Ruchala Bone dreamed of having a big family.
NASHVILLE, Tenn. (WSMV) - As Thanksgiving nears, a Nashville couple is giving thanks that their family looks different than they ever expected.
From the beginning of their relationship, Caleb and Ruchala Bone dreamed of having a big family.
“When we were dreaming about some, it was like three or four kids, maybe five,” Ruchala said. “And then Caleb said, ‘I could probably do six.’ I don’t think we thought it would happen at the rate it has happened,”
Five years ago, the Bones became foster parents, offering homestay or respite to six different children with complex medical issues. Their journey began with Ruchala’s background in social work and their biological son’s unexpected health issues.
“All anatomy scans looked great [during pregnancy],” Ruchala said. “It wasn’t until after he was born that they heard a murmur, and the next day, the murmur was louder, not quieter.”
On his second day of life in 2016, baby Griffin was diagnosed with tetralogy of Fallot, a congenital heart defect affecting normal blood flow through the heart and vessels. It happens when a baby’s heart does not form correctly as the baby grows and develops in the mother’s womb during pregnancy.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that each year, about 1,660 babies in the United States are born with tetralogy of Fallot. In other words, about 1 in every 2518 babies born in the United States each year are born with the defect.
By three months old, Griffin had heart surgery. The procedure was a success, but the outcome for their family was somewhat unexpected.
“While we were in the hospital with Griffin, there was a girl on the same floor that had some kind of heart condition,” Caleb said. “A small baby. She had been left by her parents.”
During that hospital stay, the Bones learned there was almost always a child ready to discharge who just didn’t have a place to go.
“No parent wants to leave their baby,” Ruchala said. “But it’s, it’s just hard to take care of a sick baby. It’s expensive. It’s time-consuming, and it’s scary. So if we’re able to kinda stand in that gap, then that’s what we want to do.”
The Bones signed up for foster family training through Youth Villages, a private nonprofit organization dedicated to helping emotionally and behaviorally troubled children and their families live successfully.
After their experience helping Griffin heal after heart surgery, they decided their calling was to take on children with complex medical issues.
“We said if there happens to be kids with extra medical needs, that’s something that we feel we can offer right now,” Ruchala said.
In Tennessee, more than 8,500 children are in the foster care system. Of those, at least 146 are considered “medically complex cases,” but the number could be much higher.
Children like Maurice fit the description of “medically complex.” He came to the Bones in 2019 on dialysis. He joined the family as a permanent member and was then placed on the kidney transplant list. In early November of this year, he received his long-awaited kidney transplant.
“Once it became evident that he wasn’t able to go home with his biological family, it wasn’t even a conversation,” Ruchala said. “The answer was yes, he’s going to stay and be our son forever.”
In late May 2023, the Bones received a call asking if they could foster another child who needed heart surgery. Joy Baby, as they call her for her infectious smile, was only a few months old and needed a lot of care. On Sept. 11th, she had a successful heart surgery and was in Caleb’s arms two weeks later for her walk down Survivor Lane at the annual Nashville Heart Walk.
“In our five years of fostering, we’ve had an open place for one day,” says Ruchala, who expressed guilt for having to turn children away.
It’s worth noting the outcomes haven’t always been joyful for each child. In 2022, after 13 months with the Bones - 48 days as an adopted son - baby Everett Bone passed away. The loss was heartbreaking for Caleb and Ruchala.
“A lot of people ask us how we can do it, and I think some of it is we just choose to,” Caleb said. “When you look at a kid that has disabilities, you see the disability, you see the challenges, but you don’t see all the really great things that that kid can bring.”
The state of Tennessee needs more foster families. For more information on the requirements and how to welcome children into your home, visit this information page.
“I’m so grateful for what our family looks like,” Ruchala said. “It looks wildly different than we would’ve ever planned. But it’s better.”
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